The Return

I started this blog two five years ago after my dad pointed out that everything was brand new to my new son.  Apparently you guys liked it, but then I got busy with my new son and life in general. I'm happy to announce Eli has a new little sister, and what better time to get back into this than now?

Welcome back, and let's see what new things we can learn together.

OpEd: Exercising with dad's busy schedule

I recently turned 30, and went to my doctor to get a Tdap (Diptheria, Tetanus, and Pertussis) shot specifically so I wouldn't get Eli sick with Pertussis by being a silent carrier.  Adults can be infected with Pertussis and not show any symptoms, and then pass it along to babies (who can't be inoculated yet).  So if you have a new little one, please get the Tdap injection, especially if you work in high risk populations (inner city, health care, etc).

At the doctor's office, we had the regular talk of how everything was, and I mentioned to my doc that I'd like to lose a few pounds but I'm having a hard time fitting exercise into my schedule.  After I told him about my daily commute (2-4 hours round trip depending on traffic) and Eli, my doctor smiled and said not to worry too much, but to make small lifestyle changes (take the stairs, move around, watch your portions, etc).  I'm already doing most of those things, but I want to make sure that I'm able to keep up with Eli when he gets older so it's not enough.  Then it hit me last night by accident.  Eli was being fussy, and I was sitting on the bed bouncing him up and down / side to side and it reminded me of medicine ball exercises for your core.  I got into a better position for that sort of exercise and Eli loved bouncing back and forth!  So to summarize, my son liked bouncing, and I was getting a core workout (for the 5 minutes he'd let me).  \o/

I'm already picking him up a lot and he loves hovering horizontally in the air, and my arms are getting a good workout seeing as he's 15.25lbs already.  Also, whenever we go for walks I generally take the Baby Bjorn and carry him in it.  It slows me down somewhat for Food, and we have a deal; she carried him for nine months, I get to carry him for the next nine.  Again, as he slowly quickly grows I'll keep getting more weight added to me, which my body should respond by shedding weight of its own (hopefully).

Now, am I saying this can be made into a workout regimen?  Probably not.  Also, don't do anything with your child that he or she can't tolerate.  Eli is a solid 15lbs and has really good head control, so bouncing him and moving around a lot without me supporting his head much is fine.  What I am saying is that I need to relax, and worry about one less thing.  As long as I keep playing with Eli, I'll get some form of exercise, and the more I play with him, the better off I'll be for when he gets older.

After Meal Etiquette

I must share the oddest custom these creatures have.  After eating, Food will pat me on the back repeatedly until I burp, which leads me to believe this is the intended outcome. While burping is considered rude in some cultures, it is almost a sign of a good meal here.  Even stranger than that is Food's tendency to burp before me, almost as encouraging me.  Granted, I feel much better after and find I can eat more as well; go home tonight and try it for yourself if you don't believe me.  I thought it was odd too but you cannot deny the benefits of this custom.

Editor's note: more often than not, Eli's mom (Food) will burp first while bumping him. It was funny at first, now it's hilarious.

Food and Flash

Editor's Note: Dates and times (as well as other internationalization specifics) have been converted to Eastern Daylight Time (EDT) on Earth (planet in the 'Milky Way') for readers in that audience.

The walls are shaking and I debate if going through with this is a good idea.  I switched the portal on and I fear I can no longer turn it off.  After stepping through I believe I have traveled through time and space.  Here, I will record my observations of what brave new worlds lie ahead of me for those who may follow.

After exiting the other end of the portal, a being of this new place cut off my life support systems.  I screamed out to stop it, but he (it?) did not listen!  Moments later I realized that the air here is breathable, and my life support had ceased to function on this end.  He saved my life!

There does appear to be sentient life here, although I'm not 100% certain.  So far, all but rudimentary communications have failed.  As I try to teach these beings my language and customs, they force their language and customs on me.

I have come to observe two beings the most, since I see them frequently.  Although communication is not always possible, I can figure out something from their facial expressions and mannerisms.  One calls itself 'Mommy' (although I've heard that label used elsewhere) and predominately helps serve as life support.  Before the portal, my suit provided all of the sustenance I required.  Not I am forced to forage for food from 'Mommy' on a regular basis.  What an odd and backwards way of doing things.

Next there is 'Daddy' as he calls himself (although again, I've heard that label elsewhere).  He seems to be an observer or journalist of some sort, perhaps even a scientist sent to study me?  If he is, he will need more than his single lens devices and bright flash.  Since I have heard these titles used very frequently, I will refer to them by role to remove any confusion.  They are 'Food' and 'Flash'.

First post!

All I keep hearing in my head is the chorus of R.E.M's "It's the end of the world as we know it, (and I feel fine)."  In the beginning of May, my beautiful son was born.  A few take aways from the experience and after math include we as humans do not know nearly enough about pregnancy or babies.  Doctors repeatedly told my wife and I that there is no "normal" for pregnancy, or labor. After a tiring rollercoaster, our little man is here and we can already see him developing and changing.

Upon coming home, my dad commented to me that we need to treat him as an alien from another world.  Similar advice was given from the nurses, who told us that he still needs to learn how to be a baby and figure things out.  This blog aims to speak to new parents, but through a twist, through a "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" perspective.  We'll explore his 'travel diaries' with commentary of life in this new strange place called "outside the womb", with a look at how strange some things must seem to a newborn.